TGIF Joke

TGIF Joke 1:

Akpors got a message from his girl friend on his birthday. Message Reads:
”HBD Boo….LLNP,LYS M TTYL” …. Akpors provoked and called her phone…
”Kate what is the meaning of HBD LLNP and Those rubbish…?” Kate replied Haaa Akpors don’t tell me you are this dumb…..and local Oh My Gooosh,you don’t even know the meaning of HBD
and all that Mtchwwwwww. Well, HBD means ”Happy Birthday”,LLNPmeans ”LongIife
Nd prosperity” LYSM means “Love You so much” and TTYL means”Talk to you later”
dumbass. Akpors (angrily) ends the call and sent her a text message 2mins later, Message
reads: TFY Kate
Kate called immediately, “Akpors what is the
meaning of TFY?” Akpors answered “Oh u don’t even know common TFY?” After much laugh Akpos replied TFY
means: “Thunder fire you”

TGIF JOKE 2:

A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and
you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on little Johnny.

"None, they all fly away with the first gunshot."
The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your
thinking."

Then Little Johnny says, "I have a question for YOU. There are three
women sitting on a bench having ice cream. One is delicately licking
the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling
down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?"

The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies,"Well I suppose the one
that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."

"The correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on... but I like your thinking."


TGIF JOKE 3:

A Fulani man was arrested in Lagos, bya group of LASTMA officials for driving on the BRT lane and his car was fined N50,000.
Despite all begging and pleading, the LASTMA officials refused to release the car. "Okay, may i know where you are towing my car to?" the Fulani man asked.
"We re taking it to Alausa" replied one of d LASTMA officials. "Ha-ha-ha-ha" the Fulani bursted into laughter.
All d LASTMA officials were surprised and paid attention to him, wanting to know why
he's laughing. Immediately, the Fulani man brought out his phone began to speak this way "Abu Qaqa, Ina kwana?(Good morning in Hausa) "No sir? "Notless than 30min before it will explode""The car has been arrested...
"Only 20 out of those new bombs inside the car...
"They are taking the car to the targeted destination...A­­ ­ lausa!
"I am coming back to Yobe alive now."Thank you sir.
Greet other faithfuls for me. He rounded off his imaginary call. When he looked back, no LASTMAN was in sight. He entered his car and sped off, saying "Shege, dan burouba


TGIF JOKE 4:

Akpors wanted to use his ATM card but the machine kept on rejecting the card. A frustrated Akpors called his bank help line.

Akpors : (angrily) So what's wrong with my ATM card.
Call girl : Sir, I have checked your account, everything is alright here and You should be able to use your card, are you sure your card is not damaged or broken?
Akpors : Are you insane? What are You insinuating? No one takes good care of their ATM card like I do.
Call girl : Okay Sir, are you also sure the surface isn't wet or stained with dirt?
Akpors : You dey mad? ATM card when I dey pet like egg. As a matter of fact, I even laminated it last week when I laminated my Identity card.
Call girl : Did you just said LAMINATE?
Akpors : Of course Yes!!!